I Am Enough

Growing up, I always had this fantasy that I would fall in love with an African Prince and we would go back to his country and I would be a princess, who would eventually become a queen and I would rule over an African kingdom. My husband and I would be so in love with each other even after 50 years. He would still look at me like he was falling in love with me everyday, and I would look at him to let him know that I didn’t want anyone else. And we would be happy. Not the “happy” that you see today where couples hold hands, kiss every once in a while, but they have become more like roommates than people that were once head over heels in love with each other. I don't want that “happy”. I don't want to live that that’s what being in love looks like that and what being married is all about. I want my kids to look at us and say, “Wow, my momma and daddy really love each other.” I want them to know that finding someone to do forever with is not only possible but also enjoyable. I want them to know what love is, what love looks like, how love feels, and most importantly HOW to love. I want my children to see examples of love and kindness DAILY! But, in order to do that, they need an example. They need people to show them. 

I was thinking earlier, but what if I don't get that. What if I don't find someone who wants to do forever with me? What if I never get to know the joy of being with the same person for 50 years? But the scariest thought that I had was what if I found someone and we begin our lives together, and then they decide that their plans have changed. They no longer want me in their life? What would I do? How would I cope? Would I be strong enough to let them go? Brave enough to accept the new reality that would be my life? or Would I chicken out and continue living in a false reality for the sake of keeping up appearances? 

I’d like to believe that I would have the courage, the strength and the bravery to walk away. The common sense to know when to leave a place where I am no longer wanted, cherished, or appreciated. I hope that I would have the strength to look at the huge mountain in front of me and know without a doubt in my mind, that I could overcome it. Believing that I would be better on the other side. Trusting myself enough to know that whatever happens I can handle it. With or without the help of others, the person that I am is good enough to be alone. 

Sometimes I look at movies and TV shows and I wonder if they know what they’re portraying to young girls the idea that we need to wait for a someone to come along and make us whole. The idea that girls are not to be anything more than just a damsel in distress, WRONG! We are girls who will one day become women who have the ability to rule the world. We have the ability to bring life into this world. Without us, most guys wouldn't know their head from toes. We are important and we deserve to know that. I think that it’s about time to teach young girls that they don't need a boyfriend to be great, because they are great all by themselves. 

So maybe one day I’ll get my prince and together we could rule the kingdom. Maybe one day will never come and I’ll be by myself. Maybe I’ll meet someone one day and we’ll just click and live happily ever after. Maybe happily ever after only lasts a few years.

Regardless of how my life turns out, I want to have the strength to accept the life that I've had, the cards that I've been dealt and to know that I am important, special and worthy of anything that I want in this life. Regardless of what happens, I want to have the strength to look myself in the mirror and like LOVE who is looking back at me.Because I am enough all by myself! 💋

~ And that’s the way the cookie crumbles!~